IF I MINDED

June 7, 2017

I’ve been biding my live time

My trivial “real”-life trials

All the challanges this chuff can ignore

All the more he might’ve  imagined

If i minded any more

For somehow here  and not

For somewhere not

ASSIGNMENT BLAME

May 23, 2017

paper_stacks_by_tamsone-dq1d9a

Still nights I will not change I will cringe

I’m tightly bound to make  my inner fringe

Break down  in private next door rooms

They’ll up & drop tears  from my say  they assume

I’ve meant no harm  though my charm

Might be misplaced /  an anvil fills my frail arms

.

.

.

 

 

“The Artist’s Dream” by Emil Holarek

Emil Holarek

CHOSEN PRE-DAWN ALCHEMY

February 1, 2017

 

 

There’s some/
Confusion/ some/ frustration
Smack immersed  in blue smoke,
Go check up the projection booth.
“I couldn’t  and  shouldn’t
Have ordered this show.
And that’s just  truth.”

Way  wrong epic screenplay
Is not long enough.
If there’s subtle subtext
It’s lost in the rough.
We know how helpful laughtracks go,
My own master is so diasterly low
It’s just too private a joke.

I’ve known
You’ve drawn yr own conclusions.
My own solutions are silly as  shepherds are  asea.

Desires and Go-forth fires   I’m put out.
Dire old deserts. It’s cold certainly.
I’ve a drought to drink about.
For me, chosen, pre-dawn alchemy,
Actually,
Chosen, is  a good chaser.

AT TOMORROW’S WINDOWS

February 29, 2016

20151029_135710By Thursday

I should, surely

Feel  fully  aware.

.

They’ll mull some, say,

Seeing his stare.

There, unascertainable  hazes

Of tomorrow’s torrents of rain

The throbs & throes

At  windows

There, torments

There, painfully free

 

 

 

 

“Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.”
~C.G. Jung~

 

 

 

Like Consequences, Early

June 18, 2012

 

As rising tides of daylight’s ocean/

Slice wide  through the blinds & the shrubs behind the blinds,/

The sun,/

Regretfilled notions/

Upset upon me   1  by  1/

Apparitions

Frozen Rhyme

August 23, 2011

Sure I can

Be shy of  decision after decision

I can   stay still

While  all the world

Will whirl as it will

& when it’s all done

I’ll stay stiller yet

But not inside  I bet

Should I get older

I recognize me,  more blind,

Crinking my neck back, there, as

I look up at the cliff terrace

And A windowed hideaway behind,

Not so unapproachably high,

Fixed over our Pacific, finally,

That we thought might couldn’t be.

Hard rain, hell, wept down a wet

that mixes well w/regret, on my shirt

.

                                                  2

.

One can look past all our four shoulders

From inside the glass wall

On the backside of our Adirondacks

And maybe just make out

What we’re watching and talking about.

A man closely following his own footsteps

The long stretch of the shore,

But looked up at the both of us,

Hand in hand, and how then the heavens poured.

May 16, 2009

016

yes, I’m getting on, Everyone and  god

is.  The aches to be found in blood-

flesh, and found further inside, too,

unmistakenly prove more profound to

me, more noteworthy, at last,

more nights and days pass.

 

 

        from the song “Bare” written by Robert Smith/ CURE

“..There are long, long nights

When I lay awake

And I think of what I’ve done,

Of how I’ve thrown  my sweetest dreams away

Of what I’ve now become,

And how ever hard I try

 I will always feel regret

And how ever hard I try

I will never forget”