NIGHT SWEATS

June 3, 2018

“I feel my failure intensely
as if it were a vital organ”
– Jim Harrison

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It’s more than coincidence how

That “pillow” rhymes with  “shadow”.

If I had to,

& the sense  to know,

I’d set dark dreams aside.

If I lied some, & thought things

As tied up,

I’d fake it some, I’d hope

For another wide enough break,

& more loose rope,

& this broken cup

I hold my spirits up.

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NURSIE DEAR

May 23, 2018

I’ve dreamt of an angel nursie dear

Near  she sat and pat my brow

Her half-smile warmed me with more light, more hope here

I fell back on my fevered pillow

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Why? Why by chance you’re my Florence Nightengale

That grows pale at my rows of wounded

& Hard-headedly disclaims, “All is tainted”

But goes on blinking out your saint eyes

All the shadows god’s light must have painted?

Maybe I’m madly wrong
My perspective’s askew.

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Driving here drowsy, & now all along
I’ve dreamt there is time to see it all through.
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Could be I’m way off.  Way off course.
My Heart’s compass’s needle must still be true.

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A cloudy road’s option is straight on, of course
Seemingly there would be one way  to drive through.
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Maybe I’m madly wrong
My POV’s askew
Driving here lousy, & now all along
I’ve dreamt there was time to see it all through

MY PLEA, SURE

February 14, 2018

 

 

I loved   just under my breath

Just above the collar-

Toward the back of her moon-colored sundress.

Hold on  to my breath

Hold,   & I holy hope

Right forthright for our portal opening

& if we’d once/ Go take this chance

This  achy  slow  dance is done today

This must  go & leave  t’heaven

Just one heave away

ADVENTUALLY

February 8, 2018

 

“..the inevitability of

heart death and heart soar and heart sick and heart ache..”     -EvelynAdams/

 

https://tenaciousiceberg.wordpress.com/2015/12/04/writers-wall-as-tall-as-the-sky/

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It could be worst

When I would hear

It from good sources,

Maybe a back-alley liar.

His last words.

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Not a sliver as clever as Wilde,

But ever so slightly, absolutely abstract & absurd

His last words

Might all have been,  “I’ve waited.  Awhile.

All night. Save dawn. I’ve waited.  Until

Watching was silly.

No cues came. No signs sang.

No news hit the front porch.

I waited & watched.

I still wait for bell rang.

I still hold a torch.”

ON WAITING FOR CHANGE

January 31, 2018

between  my  matins

& the very next dawn’s

last ditch whispers,

pleas

Elucidating  light  is  just  off.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“There’s nothing good because nothing lasts
And all that comes here, it comes here to pass.
I would voice my pain, but the change wouldn’t last.
All that comes, it comes here to pass.”

                                                         AVETT BROTHERS, from “Down With The Shine”

 

 

 

 

A BARGE

August 13, 2017

A barge I bet  can float through our wait

Hours upset, but in an instant I can’t hate

Hating hundreds of roads apart, while  hearts

Skinwalls near  forever here, & there with you  wait.

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.          (unfinished)

SOME ON LOSING YOU

July 22, 2017

 

 

 

“Outside… I’m masquerading,

Inside…My hope is fading..”

-Smokey Robinson, from  ” Tracks Of My Tears”

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I’ve seen  winters and  springs

Since I’ve seen a winning hand

But I’m at a loss to say

About losing.

It’s not farfetched to say

I’ve not too far to fall

But it’s best & for the best

For rain and tears to fall

I’m meant not to miss all this all

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I encounter seeing faces I have seen, Countenances

I believe  I know,   abit a blur

I can see the many apparences

Surely, all the one, to me  all lure.

Always

From somewhere  a ways

So familiar in a dream that

Sentences formed for her

presences   are pointless,

When a smile from an eye

is enough.   Not enough.

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A close look!  Too late.  Those closing elevators.

One shine on a glass, as she passes.

A wave or a nod wayover another streetside.

A bolt  from our sure bond  that burns

From another car just as it turns.

We’re silent together and calm

Fifty arms apart in a crowd

In a loud throng.

I’ll see you for a sliver

In all this  time & space, long

In all this  space & time, a pace or two somehow wrong.

OF FINAL NIGHTS

July 16, 2017

 

 

 

The taste of  spray,

Back splayed against the lighthouse wall,

Is saltier/ The roar of  final nights

Saddled on sea wall gusts

Is Fiercer/ When strength one requires

To withstand and understand  such threats

Is steadier/ The beacon’s cliff path

Is grounds for  light/

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(from 2011)

 

F O R G E S

May 1, 2017

 

 

 

 

 

 

There ought better be a beacon
on a pacific coast cliff could be
where hope’s light works with sea horn
where a night light works without warning
It forces & forges  the blackest  fog & forests
There can be a candle
in a window with enough heat
to fire the hearth
to light one lone solitary stone room
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(from 2010)
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.”Writing is nothing more than a guided dream” -Jorge Luis Borges